Domestic Violence and Sexual Humiliation

In todays society we have become very acquainted with domestic violence. The horror of women being abused by men is now out in the open and society is having lively discussion about it, gearded towards putting an end to it and providing psychological help for the abuser. And, so we should have brought this monster to the light to rid ourselves of it altogether. Today, more and more victims of domestic violence are making their ordeals known and seeking help and rescue from their abusers. Affected children are receiving counseling and other forms of intervention to put them back on the road to adequate growth and development.

However, there's another type of abuse that pervades our society that's not much spoken about. Maybe it's because its victims don't think it's that important to discuss or because they fear the consequences of doing so. Regardless the reason, it still exist and plays a highly harmful role in regards to intimate relationships. It's called Sexual Humiliation.

Unfortunately, there are those in our society who get satisfaction out of humiliating their supposed mates. They have the habit of demoralizing them by insisting that they perform sexual acts that they personally find disgusting. When they refuse to participate in these activities they are met with ridicule and scorn. They are often threatened that their refusal to participate will lead to the ending of the relationship.

Thus, daily, both men and women are psychology pressured and battered into participating in demoralizing sexual acts. There offenders often argue that they should be willing to submit to this abuse as an expression of love. The fact that their demands are the source of great pain for their mates, tend to be meaningless to them. The woman or man struggling to maintain a relationship with these individuals find themselves caught up in a dilemma: they're dammed if they do and dammed if they don't. That is, if they refuse to go along with the abuse, they're emotionally attacked with the threat of abandonment by the abuser. They're told if you won't do what I want you to do, i'll leave you. If they go along with the abusive act, they are punished by doing something they find repugnant.

Regretfully, many in our society are faced with this challenge. Their mates get some type of perverse satisfaction out of humiliating them. Some say it's a play for power, expressed by very fragile personalities. Whatever explanation, it's abuse nonetheless that rigorously batters the psyche of its victims.

To the point that they can, these abusers must be helped to understand that to demand that an individual give up their personal dignity to satisfy their lust, has nothing whatsoever to do with love. Rather, it's a cold heartless manipulation and form of abuse that is unworthy of them. Forcing someone into acts that they would otherwise not involve themselves in is not much different from placing a gun to their heads. The effect is the same - making them do something they otherwise would not do.

It's similarly important that the abused understand that they are indeed being subject to abuse, no matter what the abuser tells them. With this understanding they should do everything in their power to put an end to it. It's vital that they learn that love is about give and take, not a dictator form of relationship where one member is afforded the right to destroy the other.